Note: This episode is slightly longer than usual to honor the natural speech patterns of our guests.
Welcome to the Mid-Winter Episode of True Tales by Disability Advocates, season two. Winter is the time of stillness and darkness when nature encourages us to look within and access what’s ready to grow in the coming year. In this episode, “Practice Peace not Pity”, hosts Toby Al-Tarabulsi and Kristen Gooch talk to storytellers Kaye Love and Darla Murphy about the practices they use to find peace in their lives. We invite you to join them and take time to look within and discover new ways to find peace for yourself in the coming year.
Part 1 “Pity Fatigue”
Host Toby Al-Trabulsi and guest Kaye Love discuss her journey in life and the strategies she developed to protect herself from the toxic impact of ableism in her story “Pity Fatigue.”
Bio Kaye Love - Kaye has over eight years of experience working with individuals with developmental and learning disabilities, including Intellectual Disability and Autism Spectrum Disorder, in Special Education and Vocational Rehabilitation. She has experience providing spiritually sensitive counseling to clients who identify with diverse belief systems, including Buddhism, Christianity, Ethical Humanism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and Wicca. Click this link to listen to “Community Faith and Inclusion” ID: Caucasian woman with light brown hair smiling. She is wearing a stole and a blue shirt and dark-rimmed glasses.
Bio Toby Al-Trabulsi - Toby Al-Trabulsi is an actor, writer and creative access advocate for performers with disabilities based out of Austin, TX. Toby is a member of TILT Performance Group and ScriptWorks and is currently pursuing podcasting through the podcasting working group for Art Spark Texas, True Tales by Disability Advocates podcast. He is eager to see where this journey takes him. ID: Toby Al-Trabulsi, a white male with brown hair. Toby is seated and holding a plate of food. He is wearing a red shirt with text “ZOO YORK”. Follow Toby on Twitter or Instagram Twitter: @Tobias_Zane Instagram: @Tobias_Zane text “ZOO YORK”.
Part 2 “Peace Fountain” After Darla Murphy presents her story, “Peace Fountain,” host Kristen Gooch learns more about Darla’s love of creative writing, storytelling, and the other things that bring her peace.
Bio Kristen Gooch - Kristen Gooch is an Actress, Poet and Advocate from Austin, Tx with Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair for mobility. She hopes to broaden her horizons and branch out into film and television someday. She currently facilitates a peer support group called Adapting Shero's for women with mobility disabilities through Imagineart. She is a company member of TILT Performance Group and Paradox Player. ID: A caucasian young woman with shoulder-length auburn hair and pink lipstick smiling. She wears a pink short-sleeved dress with gray triangles, a black zig-zag patter
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates, authentic voices of people. thriving with disabilities. Where individuals use the art of storytelling to change the world. The True Tales by Disability Advocates Podcast is produced by Art Spark Texas, Speaking Advocates Program. Keep listening to hear how life's challenges can spark a desire to speak out and advocate for yourselves and others.
MsBoye:
Welcome to the mid-winter episode of True Tales by Disability Advocates, season two. You are listening to the podcast where Advocates harness the power of storytelling to build community with their peers and hope to develop empathy in others. Recognizing that everyone's life is enriched by the inclusion of multiple voices, Art Spark Texas has been training Disability Advocates as storytellers for over 20 years. A team of these Disability Advocates creates True Tales to give disabled storytellers the opportunity to share their personal stories and lived experience in their authentic voices. We offer our unique and often underrepresented perspective to the growing community of podcast listeners world. Winter is the time of stillness and darkness when nature encourages us to look within and discover what's ready to grow in the coming year. In this episode,"Practice Peace Not Pity," hosts Toby Al-Trabulsi and Kristen Gooch, talk to storytellers, Kaye Love and Darla Murphy about the practices they use to find peace in their lives. As we come to the end of a year, that's been difficult for many of us, from 11:30 PM on New Year's Eve to 12:30 AM New Year's Day around the world, people will participate in the 31st Universal Hour of Peace. We invite you to take time to look within and perhaps you'll find new ways to find peace for yourselves in the coming year.
Toby:
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates, where we change the world one story at a time. I'm your host Toby Al-Trabulsi. We're talking about Pity Fatigue, and I'll be chatting with our guest Kaye Love. Welcome, Kaye.
Kaye:
Thanks for having me. It's good to be here.
Toby:
It's great to have you on the podcast, really appreciate you coming back for a second season.
Kaye:
Yeah. This is exciting.
Toby:
What have you been doing since since you last were a guest on the podcast.
Kaye:
Well, I've had the opportunity to give some, um, guest speaking at church services and,
Toby:
Oh cool!.
Kaye:
Um, I'm in the process of writing my fourth talk that I'm gonna get to deliver, to a congregation. And starting to look at how to get my message about faith and inclusion out in the world. Um, I'm also in the process of, starting to apply or return to studies, to complete a Doctorate in Ministry.
Toby:
Oh, that's so cool. How have those talks been going? What has that experience been like for you?
Kaye:
Oh, it's been very exciting to kinda share my perspectives on how our challenges can lead to spiritual growth and closer connection to the Spirit within and that Divine part of us that we do have more kind of an opportunity to touch as we move through the challenges in our lives.
Toby:
And are people pretty, pretty receptive to your message and what you have to say?
Kaye:
Um, they seem to be, the talks I've done so far have been online due to the pandemic, so they have little hearts and(laughs) on Facebook response. But I haven't really had the opportunity, this next time is gonna be my first time in person, so, they do keep asking me back, so I'm assuming it's, it's popular.
Toby:
Oh, that's great. I love that. Where, um, where at, if that's
Kaye:
Unity Church of the Hills is where I've been speaking recently and I am hoping to, like I said, go out to some other congregations in the future.
Toby:
Oh, cool. Well, please, uh, keep me posted about that. That sounds really fun. And I hope people are, keep becoming more receptive to your message cuz that's, that's really cool. As a person who's like not really, not very res, not spiritual myself, I find that aspect very fascinating. Cuz I, I find people's experiences of spirituality and, and religious experience is very interesting. It's like hearing about another life within them. And it's so interesting. It sounds very enriching.
Kaye:
I think we all have a place that is, that is sacred and I think some people see it as Divinity and some people just see it as, kinda with awe and wonder, but may not assign it to, to something beyond them.
Toby:
Yeah. can you speak more about, about that and, and what kind of led you to like a spiritual, what kind of led you to your spiritual enlightenment journey? Was it something about, your, therapy practices or, or what?
Kaye:
So, when I was young, I had seizures and I noticed when I got in acceptance of the seizure that I was less likely to have them. And I started doing a lot of acceptance work and meditation practices and kind of spiritual growth towards just seeing the gifts and everything. And as I learned to kind of accept what's going on more and more, um, I was Conscious more and more, and so learning to be Conscious literally kind of helped me to develop more of a connection to my Sacred Self or Higher Consciousness, um, spiritually.
Toby:
Hmm. So what I'm hearing you say is learning to accept every part of, of yourself helped you to learn and live and, and furthermore, like love every part of you and, and extend those feelings and experiences outward to every part of your purview to your perception. So you could grant that kind of attitude to your, your fellow humans.
Kaye:
Yes. I think that, you know, everything is Sacred and when we love what is, and we love ourselves and we love other people, we experience a peace that that is not there when we're in resistance to reality.
Toby:
Hmm. That's wonderful.
Kaye:
And I think, you know, when I think back on what has been kinda most meaningful in my life, it has been learning to move past, being scared of where my body is going and just trust that whatever happens with my body is okay. And the experience I had getting sent to self-contained school and getting to go to school with children with all kinds of abilities and disabilities and(laughs) physical configurations or, or whatever. I think helped me be more just inclusive in my life of others and, and riding the bus helped me with social skills and relating to people and a lot of the things that have happened to me that people would say,"Oh wow, that's not a good thing," have really been good things for me. And I think when we start seeing the, the blessings in our challenges, it shifts the way we live.
Toby:
I think that is so true, and it's an immensely hard thing to do. And I think that's wonderful that you were able to, to do that and, and you made your life's work out of it.. And I'd love more than anything if you could share your story with us today.
Kaye:
Certainly. Pity Fatigue by Kaye Love. Pity, it's a complex subject. It arises out of a true sense of compassion and caring. Yet the attempt to bond through a perception of misfortune creates a bitter experience for everyone involved. Although the signs of pity may be hard to define objectively, you know when it's directed at you. Have you ever thought, Oh, this must be horrible! Look at all the sad faces of everyone around me." Have you ever found yourself exhausted at the end of the day, because in addition to the stress you are experiencing due to some unwanted, unpleasant, maybe even traumatic event, you have to deal with people becoming horribly distressed when they see you or hear of your situation? Have you ever experienced a sinking feeling of shame that occurs as a result of others looking at you like your life is not worth living? Have you ever avoided people because you cannot stand any more sad faces? If your answer is yes to any of these, then you know, pity is not pretty. This is the story of how I discovered the phenomenon of"Pity Fatigue" and vowed that I would no longer allow myself to be affected by the sad responses from people around me. Nor would I perpetrate pity on others. So if you feel like a"Pity Provoker or you are a"Pity Perpetrator", I want you to know that there is hope. While I may not look like a pity provoker, I have a long history with the experience of pity. When I was nine, I hit my head and began to have seizures. I would awaken, injured, mute, and blind. During this dark period when I was unable to respond there was always a crowd of people talking about how awful it was, how it should not be happening, such a pitiful condition. The first thing I saw was always looks of terror. That same look appeared whenever I talked about seizures. I also remember seeing the sad expressions of others when they saw people with other disabilities and hearing comments about how pitiful they were. I remember knowing that I too was a pitiful purveyor of sadness to others. I did not connect these reactions of others to my experience of low self-worth as a teenager. I just thought in addition to being epileptic, I was mentally unstable. It was all I could do not to join the party and pity myself. However, I was committed to learn not to be miserable. I was determined not to go through life feeling pathetic. I would write affirmations about being okay how I am and tell myself positive things. Yet I still had the feeling that I was less than others. I increased my efforts to feel better through my twenties, by reading self-help books and getting therapy. The experience of myself as pitiful lessoned with effort, yet it lingered. Because I had seen a lot of people who seemed like they could really benefit from being happier I entered graduate school to become a Psychotherapist. One day in class, my professor said," We learn about ourselves from the facial expressions of others." This statement lingered in my mind as I left. After class someone asked me about a huge bruise on my leg as large, purple and green blotches, made frequent appearances on my body. I said,"Oh, I get those all the time. I have seizures. I thrash about and run into things." This was not really a big deal to me. I was used to it. Then there it was, Vicarious Trauma" all over their faces, as they said,"How awful that must be. How sad you have to endure it. I don't know if I could handle it!" As I saw their bitter looks, I experienced a sinking feeling of shame for causing their discomfort. Then I flashed back on the lecture. We learn about ourselves from the facial expressions of others." I thought That is it! It is not about me. It is the reactions of others." At that moment, I realized I'm not pitiful. I'm just responding to their negative reactions. I became very curious about this phenomenon and started on a quest to explore it. When I was out in public, I would watch the look on other people's faces when they saw or heard about Disability. Some people just look up overhead, like they hoped to avoid knowledge of something unpleasant. Some divert their eyes downward like they are ashamed of the judgment they are making. Some people furrow their brow and stare as if they see a problem to solve. Watching those distorted faces day after day is exhausting. Just as professionals who deal with trauma on a regular basis get compassion fatigue, I propose that people with conditions others perceive as unfortunate are subject to a vicarious stress condition I call"Pity Fatigue". Now, when I see that squinched up face that says,"Oh, how bad for you," I remember that they are mired in their own fear attempting to bond through the bitterness they feel. They are unable to focus on the sweetness of gifts that result from overcoming obstacles. They may lack the skills to adjust and be happy I know that look is not about me or my situation. When I see others who are facing something that looks difficult for me, I remember that they have strengths and gifts I do not have, and I become curious about who they are. I choose to bond with the unseen sweetness, which lies beyond what is bitter at first encounter. Then I look them in the eyes and smile. My psyche is now pity proof. I no longer perceive myself as a"Pity Provoker", nor do I perpetrate pity on other people. The next time you see someone in a situation you perceive as unpleasant, I invite you to move past the bitterness, become curious about the sweetness, and be more balanced in your attempts to bond.
Toby:
Welcome back. I'm here with our guest Kaye Love.. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us Kaye.
Kaye:
You're welcome. Thank you again, for having me.
Toby:
Of course. In your story you talked about the discovery of"Pity Fatigue". Could you tell us a bit more about this concept and how someone could identify if they're a Pity Provoker or a Pity Perpetrator?
Kaye:
Uh, yes. So as I mentioned, it is a form of Vicarious Trauma. So when we see other people having traumas, the kind of way our brains work, we also kind of join them with that. And then that seeing people have trauma with our trauma comes back at us and we get affected by seeing other people experience ourselves as traumatic. And so, um, it's kind of, if somebody feels like other people are always looking at them like they're sad or pathetic or something, and start getting this experience of themselves as the source of trauma in other people's lives. Then they would know that, that, and actually it's not them doing that, it's just other people maybe not having the coping skills to deal with the situation that they perceive. We can step back from that and say,"Hey. Even though somebody else would be traumatized by this, I can move on and find my strengths and appreciate myself in my own way. And if somebody is walking around thinking that everybody is sad or that a lot of people are sad,"Oh, look at that, that would be awful. Oh, look at this, this would be awful." Maybe getting curious about how it would create strengths and gifts in somebody's life. If you're like,"Oh no, what must it be to have that experience?" Just regrouping,"What could I get out of it? And I'm kind of thinking about, you know, what might the opportunities be that go with the challenge?
Toby:
Great. So, what I'm hearing you say a lot of is, a... It's about approaching your fellow human and making honest connections and pushing through that fear.
Kaye:
Yes.
Toby:
So, how has the phenomenon of"Pity Fatigue" affected your outlook on your interactions in your daily life, personal and professional.
Kaye:
Well, as I mentioned in the story before, I kind of clued into what was going on with how I felt about myself, you know, I just continually have this experience of myself as as less than, or other people were having trauma about me and,"Oh, this must be terrible". Um, and then after I realized this, it was easier for me to kind of work out of that and say,"Oh! This person just doesn't know how they would deal with my situation." And so it's both helped me not take other people's reactions personally. Understanding that what goes on inside other people is more about them than it is about me or anyone else. And also, with, um, being able to know that I don't understand what kind of coping skills somebody has or can gain and it helps me as a counselor and that I tend to see that I empathize knowing, having faith, that, whatever challenge we have, we have a gift that we can develop that's equivalent to that. So when somebody comes in and says, oh, all this stuff is going wrong, I know they have an opportunity that goes with their challenge and that they can become more empowered and and benefit from that growth.
Toby:
Awesome. So you would say that Pity Fatigue has helped you gain more insight to who you are as a person and helps you share that insight with your fellow humans in creating positive exchange and encounters.
Kaye:
Yes. You just never know what's gonna happen when you go places.
Toby:
That's great. What coping strategies do you implement as an adult when you see expressions of pity on on other people's faces, as opposed to when you were younger and took things more personally?
Kaye:
Again, I am more aware and mindful that what other people are reacting to is more about them than it is about me. And one of my favorite analogies to share when I'm talking to people about kind of not taking others' reactions personally is, if somebody looks disgusted, you know, we tend to think,"Oh no, I got lunch at my teeth," or something like that but they may just have indigestion! And so then I kind of being aware that whatever's going on with somebody else is, is not really about me. You know? Um, and, and even if they were, it's not my problem, you know?
Toby:
Yeah, that's so true. It doesn't have to affect you.
Kaye:
Right.
Toby:
Like it's just Yeah. you practice that kind of self-care through, through Mindfulness or meditation or things like that.
Kaye:
Right, and meditation has helped me with being more aware of what I'm telling myself. It helps us to get more connected to that higher, more Sacred part of ourself, but it also helps us notice our thoughts more. And so that's one of the things I do for myself and in my practice to teach other people, is that that kind of being able to be mindful of what are the stories we're making up about ourselves and other people,helps us deal more with what's really there, instead of creating kind of trauma and drama through the fiction that we tell ourselves.
Toby:
Uh, great. Okay. You've had a strong background in mental health advocacy where you used performance to advocate for yourself and fellows like yourself. You're, a member of the Podcast Working Group as well as being a guest on the podcast, where you shared your story"Faith and Inclusion". What has the experience been like for you? Being on both sides of the mic?
Kaye:
I've really enjoyed this podcasting opportunity, um, and getting to share my story, um, about faith inclusion and coming up this one about"Pity Fatigue" and also hearing the stories of others and getting to speak with people as you're speaking with me. And, um, also kind of that background the producing. Um, those more kind of, um, hidden aspects of it have been very interesting as well.
Toby:
Yeah, it's really enriching to, to get, to see all these multi-layered facets of people just kind of unravel and, and see what they're like just er, the stories within stories. And I, I think you're no exception. So... what are some things that you enjoy doing in your free time?
Kaye:
So I really enjoyed working on this podcast, for example, and being part of the, the production team with that. I participate in Tilt Performance Group and I've been taking classes on theater and improv and some things like that that have been really fun. Um, as I mentioned earlier, I'm also have been writing some talks and, and being able to present the message at church on occasion. And, um, I enjoy sewing and crochet and kind of crafting hobbies like that, when I can make the time for it and have been kind of busy with more community oriented outward stuff recently.
Toby:
Oh, excellent! I love that. That sounds like a lot.(Laughs)
Kaye:
Yes.
Toby:
Um, so Kaye, what's one thing that you hope people take away from hearing your story"Pity, Fatigue" for the first time?
Kaye:
I would hope that people are able to more appreciate themselves and not let other people's reactions affect them negatively to be able to say,"Hey, even if somebody is looking at me like something is really awful, that doesn't mean I have to experience it that way." And also knowing that if you think of someone else's condition or situation would be awful, that, that they be able to say,"Hey, there may be a gift there that I can't see, and how do I connect around that possibility, um, for growth and strength?"
Toby:
That's wonderful. I, I love that. Well, thank you Kaye. if our audience wants to connect, what's the best way for them to do that? Do you have blog accounts or social media or website?
Kaye:
I have a website at klove.com, which is kind of underdevelopment right now, but I hope to get some more things on it. Um, you can find, um, how to work with me there and I am also on LinkedIn.
Toby:
Okay. We'll make sure to include all of that. I'm sure our listeners will wanna stay up to date with you.
MsBoye:
Kaye, I wanna ask you a question.
Kaye:
Yes.
MsBoye:
My question to you is, we hear a lot these days about the importance of empathy. Um, in terms of social change and working with people who are different than you, intersectionality and stuff like that.
Toby:
Yeah, hmm, your story got me thinking about the differences, do you think people confuse the two?, I know. It feels different for me when people approach me with empathy versus my experiences being pitied. I don't wanna do that to other people. How can we know the difference between the two?
Kaye:
So when we empathize, we try to get an understanding of the person's experience in their situation. And so just like when I was talking about the experience of, you know, thrashing about and knocking into things and having a bruise. It wasn't really a big deal for me cuz I was used to it, but everybody else was responding as if it just started happening to them and they hadn't had the grief yet and they were imagining themselves in that situation. So a primary difference between empathy and sympathy is understanding the person in their situation. And I'll say there are some key skills, that unconditional positive regard is an important part of that. So when we kind of try to imagine what it's like for the person instead of what it would be like for ourselves and we hold that person, um, in positive regard and offer warmth and genuineness and, and really try to be curious about how it is for them, instead of how it would be for us. We move out of sympathy and into empathy.
Toby:
That's so true.
MsBoye:
That's helpful. Um, one of the things that's helped me is to recognize when I'm being dismissive of what the other person is feeling. Um, like if I catch myself saying," At least it wasn't... blah, blah!". That's always a good sign for me that I'm not really being empathetic.
Kaye:
Mm-hmm.
MsBoye:
Does that make sense?
Kaye:
Mm-hmm. right? Yes, and I think empathy is not sympathy. For when we empathize we truly put ourself in somebody else's situation and when we sympathize, we tend to more imagine ourselves in somebody else's situation. And it can be important to understand that everybody is doing the best that they can with what they have and be compassionate about the skillset. But again, understanding other people have strengths that we don't know about.
MsBoye:
Right. And it's also about, for me, admitting that, uh, my uncomfortableness is with, I'm uncomfortable sitting with their feelings and so I wanna shift away from them as soon as I can. And separate myself from their feelings.
Kaye:
Mm-hmm. Yes, and sometimes when we can also recognize that we don't have to take in other people's feelings. That their feelings are their feelings, but we can send them our peacefulness. So that when we kind of love people where they are and hold them with warmth and unconditional positive regard, we don't have to take in their feeling. But we can send them peacefulness and compassion in that loving kind of way instead of that,"Oh, it's too bad for you."
MsBoye:
Yeah, great. That was it. Thank you. Brilliant.!
Kaye:
Thank you. It's all a process.
Toby:
Yeah, it's all process.
Kaye:
I thought you did great.
MsBoye:
Thank you so much for giving us all this time. And I really appreciate that.
Toby:
Thanks so much for being our guest, Kaye and for being a part of the podcast this episode.
Kaye:
Thank you again for having me.
Toby:
If you'd like to listen to Kaye's other story,"Faith and Inclusion", Season One, Episode Three. We'll put the link in the show notes. Thanks for listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates."Pity Fatigue" was produced by Kristen Gooch. Mixing and Editing by Msboye. Our scripting and production team includes Kristen Gooch, Toby Al-Trabulsi, Joey Gidseg and Jennifer Howell. Special thanks to Kaye Love for sharing her story with us. I've been your host, Toby Al-Trabulsi, and you've been listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates.
MsBoye:
Stay tuned for Part Two, Peace Fountain with host Kristen Gooch and storyteller, Darla Murphy.
Kristen:
Welcome back to True Tales by Disability Advocates, where we change the world one story at a time. I'm Kristen Gooch and I'm your host and I'll be chatting with our storyteller, Darla Murphy, about her story,"Peace Fountain". Welcome, Darla. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Darla:
You're very welcome. Thanks for having me. I'm glad to be here.
Kristen:
Now we know that you're an OMOD veteran, a writer, a storyteller. You've written a novel, uh, you're working on an autobiography. You're about to share your story, Peace Fountain" with us. What inspired you to write this story?
Darla:
Well, what inspired me to write the story is that there, there really is a fountain right in my mom's flower bed and I just decided to write a story on it cuz I like it. It sounds so pretty. And, and I just like it. I like looking at it every day when I get picked up by the bus to go anywhere. I decided to write the story because it really does bring me peace when I look at it. So...
Kristen:
I'm sure you do, that's so great to hear. I don't wanna give away too much of this story, but is it a story that you wrote in the OMAD training group?
Darla:
Yes.
Kristen:
Okay. Well, we're very excited. Please share your story whenever you're ready.
Darla:
Okay. The Peace Fountain by Darla Murphy. There is a fountain that brings me peace and relaxation whenever I hear it. It is a huge water fountain with two pieces, both white and gray with one bigger piece stuck together with the smaller one. The bigger one supplies the water and flows down into the smaller one. The water goes KaShh-shhaw from the big one into the small one. It has two different speeds. The fountain sits in my mom's flower bed right outside of the front windows. I was so glad my dad fixed it last week, so I could enjoy the fountain for the sound again. I love water. I love any kind of water, pool water, the water from the sink, pretty much any water. My love for water began at the age of seven. However, I really didn't notice it until I was 17 or 18 years old. I went to a camp called"Camp I Can", there I learned how to swim with my swimming teacher, Connie. She actually took the time out to teach me to swim. She would move back and, and I'd swim all the way across the pool to her. She said,"You are going to learn to love the water." Indeed, I did! I love hearing the water so much. I sit very close to the window to hear the fountain. Since we moved into my home and put it into place. I do a lot of waiting in this room for people picking me up, such as my buddy Lauren or my brothers. I go into the room with the window halfway up and chill until they get there. I really know how to be at peace with the sound of the fountain. I love the way I get to have a clear mind(breath) to hear the water and relax. I gain so much peace by hearing this sound every day because it sounds like a waterfall and allows me to feel good. I want to hug the water fountain. And when it runs out of water, my mom makes my dad fill it back up just so I can hear the sound of the water fountain. And the fact that he does this makes me feel good. My mom and I sit and enjoy the water fountain together.
Kristen:
Welcome back. I'm here with our guest, Darla. What a beautiful story, and thank you so much for sharing it with us today.
Darla:
You're welcome. I was glad to do it.
Kristen:
In your story, you mentioned that the fountain in your mother's flower bed brings you a sense of comfort and peace.
Darla:
Yes.
Kristen:
What else do you find comforting and peaceful?
Darla:
Well, I like cross stitching. I like coloring. Um, Coloring, um, in the, in those adult coloring books. And believe it or not, there's um, another fountain in the backyard. So I like sitting outside. We have two only the second one I didn't mention. I like sitting outside and listening to that one quite periodically during the day.
Kristen:
Oh, wow. Well, that's good to know. Um, personally, I love the water too, don't get me wrong. Um, but I also find that writing can be a really powerful and peaceful experience. Does writing do that for you as well?
Darla:
Yes, writing, writing does that for me. Um, I look at my writing as a journal. My wri...., my writings as journals, so whenever I sit down to write something, I just think in my mind, I'm writing in my journal. It's cuz that's comforting for me, which is where I started out in the first place. In my journal and, um, writing letters to different students in, in my classes.
Kristen:
So when did you discover that you had a love for writing and storytelling?
Darla:
I discovered it at a early age, um, but I really didn't hone in on it about seventeen or eighteen years old? Probably I'd say about in high school.
Kristen:
Oh, okay. So I know for a fact that you have written a novel called"A Penny for Your Thoughts". What's it about?
Darla:
It's a combination of different stories that I've wrote in, um, the OMOD group, and then plus a combination of different stories that I wrote for Truman, which is a newspaper that I, I work for.
Kristen:
Oh!
Darla:
Geared toward people with disabilities.
Kristen:
Right. Okay. So, what... Well, first off, will you tell us how many stories from OMOD are in that book? Are in that novel, I should say"A Penny for Your Thoughts"?
Darla:
Um, there's a lot. Okay. I have a combination of thirty eight stories.
Kristen:
Wow!
Darla:
And each story is different, but I would say the majority of the book is from, from OMOD. Yeah.
Kristen:
Oh, okay. That's great. Will you walk us through that process of what inspired you to turn that story or turn all those stories into a novel?
Darla:
Into a book?
Kristen:
Yes, into a book.
Darla:
Um, um, I like to write and I've always wanted to write a book. I just literally always have, have really wanted to write a book and so I just took all of the stories, plus the ones that I've wrote for the news, written for the newspaper and put them into a book. Mind you, I had no idea that they were gonna be a book. I just, my assistant back then, Lauren, she, um, had'em in her computer coz she, she typed them out for me. I wrote them, but she typed them out for me. And so she said, she said, um, I said,"How many stories do I have in in your computer?" Because she stored'em on her computer. And then, um, she said,"You have thirty eight. What do you want to do with them?" This was before she left. I said,"What?" She said,"What do you want to do with them?" I said,"What do you mean, what do I want to do with them?" And she said, um,"What do you want to do with them?" And I said,"Let's turn them into a book." And then that's how(laughs) that's how the idea got started, really. And then...
Kristen:
Wow!
Darla:
I was, I remember being at the HEB with my dad and I was telling him," I wanna write a book called A Penny for Your Thoughts." And then that's where the title came from.
Kristen:
Wow. Okay. Wow. And I know you said before you wanna get that book published, don't you?
Darla:
Yes, yes, I do, but here's the thing, with the publish, with the publishing, um, I wanna put out two different books. I wanna put out Penny, and then I wanna put out, um, Darla 2.0. When Darla 2.0 comes out. I want to, when I finish that one, in other words, I want to go ahead and put them both out. That way they can go, go out there together and I'll have my name out there as an auth author, so
Kristen:
Awesome. Now, you've also mentioned before they, you're a one woman show. You've started a newspaper business called Truman. First tell us why is it called Truman?
Darla:
Well, it's called Truman because, because I love dogs and I also like poetry, so I, um combined the fact that I like dogs and I like poetry and the fact that my, my mom and my dad will not let me get another dog. Um, so I just named it after the dog that I would get that I would name you know Truman.
Kristen:
So now, who's this newspaper for and what's it about?
Darla:
Well, it's a newspaper that's geared towards people with disabilities. And the company, company that it is for is called Blue Sky's Abilities. And it's a recreational, recreational newspaper, but I, I do everything by myself. If they, if I just need an assistant, you know, somebody to type it out for me.
Kristen:
Okay. So do you interview like the individuals that are getting, uh, recreational therapy through Blue Sky?
Darla:
What happens, what happens is usually when I sit down to interview somebody, I go and I make up six different questions pertaining to what it is that they do, and, and then I send it, send it to them on the um, computer. Or I give it to my assistant. She types it out. She checks it, she types it out, and then I send it to them on the computer and they send me back the answers, and I write a pair of... a paper on their, on their talent based on the answers from their questions.
Kristen:
Oh, okay, well, that's great. All right. And I know that you've also come up with another project called"The Apollo's Bag Project". Um, will you please tell our podcast followers about this project? I know it's very close to your heart.
Darla:
Yes, it is very close to my heart. Um, the Apollo's Bag Pro Project, again, was created by myself. And, um, what it is, is, um, it's a doggy bag for dogs who get adopted, um, at the shelter or um, with the Humane Society, with the Humane Society or APA.
Kristen:
And would you mind telling our followers who don't already know what APA stands for?
Darla:
It's Austin Pets Alive.
Kristen:
Okay, perfect. And you call it"The Apollo's Bag Project," why?
Darla:
Because of the simple factor that I have a dog named Apollo and I just wanted him to be able to give back to the community as well because we do everything together.
Kristen:
What kinda dog is he?.
Darla:
He's a Yorkie poo.
Kristen:
Okay, half Yorkie, half poodle?
Darla:
Yeah.
Kristen:
Sounds like a very cute dog. Before we go, there's one thing that I was hoping you could answer. What advice would you give to anyone with a disability who wants to write either a book or a play or an autobiography? What advice would you give them?
Darla:
Oh wow. That, that's a good question. Um, I would have to say believe in yourself and trust in God and know that, that you are anointed no matter what. And you know, you might you might want to be a writer, but start out in journals and stuff. I would say that and the sky's the limit.
Kristen:
Very good advice.
Darla:
Yep.
Kristen:
Well, Darla, I can sit here and I can talk to you all day. Um, but we're running outta time. Um, but once again, thank you so much for joining us and we wish you the best of luck with all of your in endeavors and all of your projects, uh, yet to come.
Darla:
Okay. Thank you very much. Bye-bye.
Kristen:
Thanks for listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates. Peace Fountain" was produced by Toby Al-Trabulsi, edited and mixed by Msboye. Our script and production team includes Toby Al-Trabulsi Joey Ginseg, Kristen Gooch, and Jennifer Howell. Special thanks to Darla for sharing her story with us. I'm your host, Kristen Gooch, and you've been listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates. Don't forget to follow Art Spark Texas on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Twitter. If you've been touched by anything in this program or have any questions, we'd love to hear from you on our True Tales Podcast Facebook page. Or even better, leave us a review on the iTunes or Spotify platforms.
Kamand:
All episodes of The True Tales by Disability Advocates for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcasts. The program is funded in part by a grant from the Texas state Independent Living Council, the Administration for Community Living and individuals like you. To learn about the Speaking Advocates Program sign up for our newsletter at Art Spark Texas dot org. That's A R T S P A R K T X.org. This free virtual training is open to people of all disabilities, no matter where you live.
