Host Kristen Gooch, and storyteller PiPa McCollister, talk honestly about life in a world not designed for folks with CP, Dyslexia, or ADHD. After PiPa presents her story, “The Gift of Not Paying Attention,” host Kristen learns more about PiPa’s lived experience with ADHD. They discuss the impact of ADHD in adulthood, struggles finding a job, getting accommodations and PiPa's experience as a mother of a child with ADHD and Dyslexia and the strategies they use to celebrate their lives as a neurodivergent family.
Host Bio: Kristen Gooch is an Actress, Poet and Advocate from Austin, Tx with Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair for mobility. She hopes to broaden her horizons and branch out into film and television some day. She currently facilitates a peer support group called Adapting Sheros for women with mobility disabilities. She is a company member of TILT performance group and Paradox Players.
Guest Bio: PiPa McCollister first came to Art Spark of Texas in 2015. She and her daughter have lived in many areas of the state including East Texas, Austin, and most recently, North Texas. She was born and raised in Cleburne, Texas. PiPa graduated from Stephen F. Austin State University with a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies in 2012. She has worked in Special Education for children and adults for over 8 years. She continues to advocate for dyslexic students, children with autism, homeschool rights, and individuals with learning disabilities. PiPa now resides in Cleburne, Texas with her fiance, daughter, and three pets.
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates, authentic voices of people thriving with disabilities. Where individuals use the art of storytelling to change the world. The True Tales by Disability Advocates podcast is produced by Art Spark, Texas Speaking Advocates Program. Keep listening to hear how life's challenges can spark a desire to speak out and advocate for themselves and others.
MsBoye:
Welcome to Season Two of True Tales by Disability Advocates. The podcast where advocates harness the power of storytelling to build community with their peers and hope to develop empathy in others. A team of Disability Advocates creates True Tales to give disabled storytellers the opportunity to share their personal stories and lived experience in their authentic voices. We offer our unique and often underrepresented perspective to the growing community of podcast listeners worldwide. Did you know that according to the CDC, one in four Americans are disabled? That's about 61 million adults with 61 million experiences and points of view about what it means to live in a world not designed for them. Recognizing that everyone's life is enriched by the inclusion of multiple voices, Art Spark Texas has been training Disability Advocates as storytellers for over twenty years. We are launching episode one of season two in October which is ADHD Awareness Month, World Cerebral Palsy Day, Dyslexia Awareness Month, and National Disability Employment Awareness Month. Which made this first episode,"The Gift of Not Paying Attention," the obvious choice to kick off the season. Host Kristen, Gooch and storyteller PiPa McCallister talk honestly about life in a world not designed for folks with CP, Dyslexia or ADHD. The episode starts with PiPa and Kristen discussing the story,"The Gifts of Not Paying Attention." In the story, PiPa shares what she remembers about growing up as a kid with ADHD. And then in part two, PiPa talks about the impact of ADHD in adulthood, her struggles, finding new jobs, getting accommodations, as well as her experience as a mother of a child with ADHD and Dyslexia and the strategies they use to celebrate their lives as a neuro-divergent family. Now, these days, most people have heard of ADHD, but there's still a lot of myths about it. Two of the most prevalent ones are that you go out of it or that it mostly occurs in boys. Well, neither of those things are true. The truth is that there are three types of ADHD and women and girls are represented in all three types. Because we tend not to show the obvious symptoms of ADHD, girls with ADHD tend to be overlooked, and we are more likely to be diagnosed in later life. And it's only in the last few years that researchers have acknowledged that hormones may play a part in the impact of ADHD on women's lives. And this means that sometimes it doesn't even show up until menopause. Although if you talk to those of us who've been diagnosed a while, we could have told you this, but apparently it takes a brain scientist to make it official. Another myth about people with ADHD is that we can't pay attention. I mean, it's even in the diagnosis, Attention Deficit. This is misleading because actually our problem is that we pay too much attention to everything, and so we struggle to filter out what's around us and focus on what's in front of us. Dr. Hallowell, ADHD expert, member of Tribe ADHD himself, says, we do not have a deficit of attention, we have an abundance of attention. Which is paired with an incredible ability to focus on things we find interesting and stimulating. Not because we can't be bothered, but because that's how our brain works. So even though ADHD brains are distractable, they are also incredibly curious. Now living with an ADHD brain in a neurotypical world can be exhausting and frustrating. The persistent sense of being outta sync with the world can leave us feeling disconnected, isolated and discouraged. We find ourselves constantly messing up,when we think we should know better, and being told repeatedly we are not living up to our potential. The negative feedback from our parents, teachers, peers, and employers, eventually wraps us in a blanket of shame, that begins to define who we think we are. But if we can shift our focus to our strengths and surround ourselves with people who appreciate and celebrate our gifts, we can do amazing things. I mean, many of the people who do the most entrepreneurial, creative and groundbreaking work in the world have neuro divergent ADHD brains. It takes brains like ours to see things differently, to find new possibilities. I mean, for us it's easy to see outside of the box because we've never fit in the box in the first place. So now we invite you to join us on our journey into the world of one neurologically atypical family, navigating between the gifts and the challenges of ADHD and Dyslexia, and celebrate with us the gifts of not paying attention.
Kristen:
Hello, I'm Kristen Gooch, your host for this episode. Our guest PiPa McCallister shares her story, The Gift of Not Paying Attention" about her childhood experiences daydreaming and having ADHD. Welcome, PiPa, please tell us about yourself, maybe some things that not many people know about you.
PiPa:
Well, I have lived in lots of different areas in Texas. I'm born and raised in North Texas, but I've also lived in West Texas, Central Texas, and East Texas. That was actually in, um, a relatively short period of time. I went to school out in East Texas at Steven F. Austin State University, for education. So we moved out there for a little bit and I actually taught kindergarten out there. I've also lived near Austin and gone to school in West Texas as well.
Kristen:
All right, well, PiPa, um, thank you so much for sharing all of that. I think, let's listen to your story.
PiPa:
Thank you. My story is called"The Gift of Not Paying Attention". When I listen to the sounds at my new address, I can't help but notice there's lots of urban noise. And I find myself missing the familiar noises of my old address. There was hardly any noise at all. Just the sound of birds and the cats stalking their way around. As I listen to the birds caw and twitter, I find myself remembering a time when I was in elementary school. It was an old elementary school with 25 high windows lining one wall, and under the windows were those old iron heaters that would get to like 400 degrees and whistle, like teapots. And outside was this emerald forest that was full of birds and squirrels that were too busy to care what was going on inside our brick walls. I was so jealous of those birds and squirrels. I so desperately wanted to be one. My only concerns would be flying and searching for food, and my home would be in a tree. How awesome would that be? Now, back in that time, ADD wasn't as well known. Back then. If you weren't paying attention, you were being naughty and would be punished. I could not pay attention to save my life. I remember one afternoon just giving up trying. I remember giving into the urge to stare out the window and for once not care if I got caught. I didn't want to be in school anymore. Other kids had their heads down and were absorbed into the lessons. Why couldn't I do that? What was wrong with me? Why was it so easy for them? I would try to focus, it would last a while, and then just moments later, my mind would inevitably begin to drift away. It was like trying to keep a car on the road with a busted tire and busted steering. It was almost impossible. No matter what I did, my mind would not focus. Why did I have to go to school? I didn't want to grow up. It certainly didn't look like much fun to me. All the adults I knew were never happy. Every day was the same ole, same ole. What was the fun in that? I didn't need an education for what I wanted to do. I wanted to go explore the world. Of course, I was too young to understand the concept of money being essential to transport me around the world. I still find myself having those same thoughts. Sometimes being adult just isn't fun. I get tired of bills and other responsibilities. Some days I would just like to check out of adulthood and back into childhood, just like Peter Pan. Wouldn't that be awesome? I would never have to grow up and I would think happy thoughts and fly away from all my cares. Sadly, the world is not Neverland and responsibilities must be attended to. Maybe I will always be looking out of a window wishing I could still be a bird. Not a squirrel though, because the squirrels live in my head, they never settle down. They love to rattle my brain full of random thoughts and climb from neuron to neuron with lightning speed. I like my squirrels though, they don't want to grow up either.
Kristen:
Welcome back. I'm here with PiPa. PiPa, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You know, when I was listening to your story, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it reminded me of the meadows out of the movie Sleeping Beauty.
PiPa:
I like that.
Kristen:
Um, yeah, just the imagery and how you mentioned, like the squirrels and the birds and, you know, wishing that you can be out there and not have to be in school. And, you know...
PiPa:
Mmm-um.
Kristen:
Um, trying to pay attention to the teacher. You titled the story,"The Gifts of Not Paying Attention." What do you think the gifts of ADHD are?
PiPa:
I would say definitely, how fast the information comes in and how fast we're able to process. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, but um, I speak for myself. I've kind of gotten used to it, but I like it. I like searching for information. I like learning new things. I've always been that way. It's, it's a constant stream of questions. Why does this happen? Or why does this do? And that was something else as a child that you could get in trouble for, they didn't have the internet. I'm aging myself I'm 42, but we had to go to the library to look up things. So an inquisitive child, you had to go to the library and look things up if people didn't know. But if you were constantly asking questions and"Why?" It was just a different time. Whereas now we have Google and you can learn so many things and have so many interests. Like with us having moved to different locations, we enjoy that and I actually, my daughter, she's 16 now, but she was younger when she moved with me, and she's also ADHD, we loved moving. Mostly they say,"Oh, they need a stable environment. Don't move around." We loved it. We loved going to new places, seeing new things, trying new things. So that's, that was a plus for us. We got to where we looked forward to moving or going or doing something just to see new things. And she likes to... she'll also Google things and she's into Why does this happen?" You've we're able to find, when you have an inquisitive mind like that, you're able to find joy in small things. You learn something new that you may not have otherwise learned and things become exciting. Give you an example...
Kristen:
Please do.
PiPa:
My daughter, when she was young, we were studying and talking about weather, and we were driving through some fog and. I was explaining that was clouds and how the weather system works when there's fog. And she was so excited because she was touching clouds. And that's just, I mean, fog is a fairly common thing. It's not something to always get excited about. It can always be a hindrance, but in her mind, she was excited because she was touching clouds,"How does this work?" It was just a whole new world experience and that was so neat to watch. Little experiences like that happen a lot because there's just so much information and so much to process. It can be a hindrance, but it can also be a gift at the same time.
Kristen:
Sure. So you mentioned your daughter and what's her name?
PiPa:
Abby
Kristen:
Abby. She's 16 years old and you've mentioned that she also has ADHD.
PiPa:
Yes.
Kristen:
Do you think that's helped you with you yourself having ADHD, being a parent to Abby with ADHD?
PiPa:
Absolutely. It helped me, um, discover my own ADHD. Course, I've already, I had already kind of suspected that I had ADHD in school, um, but I was actually able to confirm it once I became a parent. And, um, it's helped me help her. It's helped me help myself in some ways, in learning ways to treat it. Um, yeah, it's, it's definitely helped. There's lots to learn and when you have a child with ADHD, you learn a lot very quickly. Cuz you're trying to help them and also helping them means helping yourself, so you can help them. So it definitely helped in my case.
Kristen:
That's great.
PiPa:
Yeah.
Kristen:
Can I ask PiPa, do you have ADD or ADHD?
PiPa:
Well, um, I've always said ADD. Um, Well, I worked in the schools and ADHD was more common, I wanna go with the ADHD because I think that's more common and more, known, familiar It's definitely that way with kids, but like I said, we're kind of bringing awareness about the adults too. I think it's coming more to light what adults are dealing with. When we were younger, there wasn't as much diagnosis available and now that we know more, now more information available. Um, we're starting to understand a little better or a little bit more why we do what we do.
Kristen:
That's true. Can you tell us more about how your ADHD has affected you as an adult?
PiPa:
Sure. Absolutely. Um, Very much so as an adult. Um, at one time I had to take medication to function properly at work, and the thing about the medication is that it has to be taken at certain times or it wears off and then it's very hard not to fall asleep, which can be an obstacle at work. Certain jobs that require a certain amount of detail are difficult. So I've actually had several different types of jobs and have struggled through different kinds trying to find what works best for me, whether I'm on medication or not. I feel like the medication can also affect personality or thoughts in general. Er, like a inner monologue. So it's a kind of a delicate balance to find the right job that I can do. Um, if I need to be medicated or not be medicated, find the right medication. So for me, it's an ongoing struggle as far as employment goes. So...
Kristen:
Sure. Um, have you found like, maybe a peer support group that you can connect with, of other adults with ADHD?
PiPa:
Well, there are groups on Facebook, but they're not really like, support groups and they're kind of like all over. Um, it's relatively new for adults, it's been more common in children, but I think, as far as adults, it's harder to diagnose, um, with doctors. And there's so many things that can affect your attention span, to kind of narrow it down to that is sometimes a difficult undertaking. They do have a computer test for ADHD, but it's not offered everywhere. They have to bring in special equipment, so I had to travel to, I believe it was West Texas. An area in West Texas, an office was offering it. And that's how I obtained my official diagnosis. So finding a patient doctor that's willing to invest the time and really work with you on symptoms and also, uh, being able to afford medication can also be an obstacle. There's so much abuse of the medications, it can sometimes be very difficult to obtain that. So no, I haven't really found a support group and they seem to kind of be in short supply, honestly, for adults. There is more attention to children luckily, but I think it needs to increase for adults as well.
Kristen:
Oh, absolutely! Um, I think sometimes people might have the misconception that you outgrow ADD or Dyslexia.
PiPa:
Yes.
Kristen:
Or any other type of Learning disability, and that's sim ply not true.
PiPa:
Right.
Kristen:
Um, have you found any coping strategies?
PiPa:
Yes, I've had several. Um, a big one that I notice is things have to have a home. They have to go back to the same place over and over again. Keys, phone, Um, it has to be charged. There has to be certain places to put things, otherwise they tend to just end up in piles or, um, and it's not for lack of organization or will to clean or keep up with things. It's because there's so much going on at one time that you can start off with one task and before you know it, you've gotten distracted and you're twenty tasks into something else. So really honing in on one particular task for a set amount of time, sometimes setting a timer helps to finish that one task, but even then it can still be easy to get off task. So, um, trying to do things repetitively, timers, um, writing things down, of course, then you get into the out of sight, out of mind. Um, where did the paper go? But, uh, lists, I have lots of lists and I don't go without them. So, little things like that seem to help.
Kristen:
Sure. I can relate, it's easy to get distracted and hard to stay focused and, um, is there anything you do to like calm yourself down or to maybe feel better?
PiPa:
Yes. Um, sensory issues tend to go hand in hand with ADHD, and those include things like tactile sensitivity, which is like how things feel on the skin, uh, taste, smell things, uh, associated with your senses. All of that can be more overwhelming for some with ADHD, maybe not all, but a lot of people do experience it. I am very sensory sensitive. I bright lights, loud noises, strong flavors, sometimes, large crowds. Sometimes I just, I'm more comfortable being at home really. The lights are not bright. We have like, sometimes we turn lights off or cover windows. The darkness helps. Sounds, repetitive, like maybe listening to the same song or watching the same movie over and over just to even not watching it, just hearing the same sound over and over that can be calming. Um, comfortable clothes, those help. Um, sometimes no shoes even. All little things. Um, depending on the activity. Sometimes sleep helps or is the only thing that'll help, or maybe a shower or something. Something to kind of help the body reset after it's been, um, through something kind of stressful. So, sensory really plays a big issue with ADHD, especially in my case. Self care is important.
Kristen:
Absolutely. I think after the pandemic or still going through the pandemic, I think we all need to know that self-care comes first.
PiPa:
Yeah.
Kristen:
Can I ask, what's your favorite? You mentioned listening to a song over and over again, or maybe listening to a movie over and over again. What's your go-to favorite go-to song and your favorite go-to movie?
PiPa:
You know, it's funny, it kind of changes. Songs, I don't really have a go-to song it just, it changes. Movies, I have playlists on different channels that I'll watch and I'm a Disney adult. For me, I like the classical Disney. I'll, uh, watch movies like Mary Poppins, Sword and the Stone, Robin Hood. I don't always watch them. I just have them on in the background, especially if I'm doing a chore, something I maybe would rather not be doing, just hearing those older classical films not a big plot to follow. Things like that make doin' everyday chores more enjoyable. I really can watch a lot of those along those lines over and over, and it's comforting. You know what's gonna happen. You don't have to anticipate anything scary or deep thought, you can just kind of switch off your brain and listen and enjoy more what you're doing. So...
Kristen:
That's true. Um, nostalgia. You gotta go with nostalgia. It's great.
PiPa:
Yes.
Kristen:
I love Mary Poppins. I also love Sword and the Stone and Robin Hood too.
PiPa:
Mm-hmm. I've found more adults um, not having to do with ADHD, but I have found more adults that kind of like those, that genre of film. I think it's comforting.
Kristen:
Very insightful. My last question would be, what do you want our listeners to take away today?
PiPa:
Um, that ADHD, it's not just something that affects children in school, it's something that can affect adults as well, and adults can seek out help in ways to cope. Even if they're finding out later in life that they might actually have this. It's worth getting a diagnosis. It's worth, seeking help if you feel like you need it. Um, sometimes we can have ADHD coping mechanisms in place that we did unknowingly, but once you know there's different ways that you can help yourself, help others, um, advocate for yourself. Uh, there are different, um, options for disabilities for, or help if needed. You don't have to just struggle if you are on your own. There are ways that you can reach out and get help, and I think it needs to be more common, more talked about. A lot of adults are used to not getting help or just dealing with things, and there are things out there we can all network to help each other and say,"This worked for me. You can try this." Just really get it more known and more accessible to help people. It's not just something for children. It's something that adults can help each other or learn about and help themselves as well. Yes, networking, reaching out, supporting, just learning about it. Because it can be a whole new world if you don't know. It doesn't have to always be a struggle.
Kristen:
Very true. Connection is important.
PiPa:
um, I notice I said, Disabilities I wondered, I was like, is that the right word? I mean, I don't know anything about disability for just ADD, but like I know I've worked with the, um, I forget the name of it, the Workforce, Texas Workforce and um, that's what I mean they deal with, or help people with disabilities, all different kinds. But I know there can be a stigma sometimes to that. One book that really helped me is titled,"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy." That's the title of the book, and it's by Kate Kelly and Peggy Peggy Ramundo. It has been, I believe, republished many times, and it's been out for a while. It's written like someone's talking to you and it covers lots of subjects. And I, think that it could be beneficial to a lot of people.
Kristen:
I think I might wanna check that book out(they laugh) I'm Dyslexic.
PiPa:
Are you Dyslexic?
Kristen:
Yeah, I am and I wasn't diagnosed till I was a freshman in college. Um, I also have Cerebral Palsy and I struggled with reading and my mom was very adamant that something wasn't right with my reading, and the school just kept saying,"Oh, Don't worry, she just has CP, Cerebral Palsy. She just has CP." And my mom's like,"No, it's not just CP"'cuz she has another child um, and you know, I have cousins with Dyslexia. She's like,"No. She reads like some of my nieces and nephews." And, um, sure enough, I got tested my freshman year of college and I have Dyslexia
PiPa:
Even with the family history. That should have been a dead giveaway. They should have tested you. Oh, they really did, uh, they really, Yeah. Bless your heart, that's way too long to go without being diagnosed. I can say from my personal experience, the schools are overwhelmed and I don't think they're prepared for the amount of individuals that have Dyslexia. I know when I taught Kindergarten, I could identify twelve students in my class that were showing, and this is in Kindergarten, potential signs of Dyslexia and some of it was family history as well. I hate that because, that's just such, that is so hard. My daughter's also Dyslexic, very Dyslexic. Now, she loves to read, but it is physically hard for her to read. And she wants to, but sometimes, I mean when the words are all over the page and you need to be able to read. So, they really did a disservice, that is, I'm glad they caught it, cuz I'm sure that helped you or I hope they were able to help you. But... and Dyslexia is another thing that I, I think should get so much attention. I just think they're really, they don't understand how much Dyslexia is out there. It's, it's insane. Then the math part, they don't even have curriculum for math for Dyslexia. Like my daughter never could master the Times tables, and that's part of Dyslexia. She just can't recognize the pattern. I forget what the actual title is, but they don't even have math programs for dyslexia now. And it's 2022. So...
Kristen:
Well, PiPa Um, PiPa, I've really enjoyed talking with you today. I can talk to you all day, but we're outta time for the episode. Once again, thank you so much for coming. If our listeners want to follow you or to connect with you, what's the best way to do that?
PiPa:
Yes, thank you. I appreciate it. I am on Facebook. facebook.com/ PiPa dot McCallister and I'm also on TikTok tiktok.com/ PiPaMAC forty eight. Any of those ways I can be reached.
Kristen:
Great. Well, we wish you the best of luck in the future, and we can't wait to see how your journey unfolds.
PiPa:
Thank you so much for having me.
Kristen:
All right.
PiPa:
Thank you. You were awesome, Bye
Kristen:
Goodbye.
PiPa:
Bye!
Kristen:
Perfect. Thanks for listening to this episode. Our show is hosted by me Kristen Gooch, produced by Jennifer Howell, edited and mixed by Ms.Boye. Our script and production team includes Joey Gidseg, and Toby Al-Trabulsi. I'm Kristen Gooch and you've been listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates. Don't forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
John Beer:
All episodes of the True Tales by Disability Advocates are free on Apple podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcasts. The program is funded in part by a grant from the Texas state independent living council, the administration for community living and individuals like you. To learn about The Speaking Advocates Program sign up for our newsletter at Art Spark, Tx.org. That's A R T S P A R K T X dot O R G. The free virtual training is open to people of all disabilities, no matter where you live.
.jpg)
